Authentically Adele

I looked at the doctor, the courage I had to stand strong and hold myself together vanished… He asked me if I understood what he was saying. And yes, I knew what he was talking about. I know how serious it is.. but I came here because I felt like I had an infection…. Now his telling me, I’m high risk. He is not saying it is an embolism but he can’t rule it out because clinically I have the majority of the symptoms … He sternly advised me to go to the emergency department. I said ok.

Doc:  Can you get to A&E?
Me: Yes… I drive.
Doc: No, you cannot drive yourself there.
Me: I drove myself here!
Doc, I didn’t know that but I’m obligated to tell you that you cannot drive yourself there. Don’t you have someone that could take you?
Me: yes, my husband.

In those Milo seconds thousands of thoughts raced on… But my husband is not well. And if he takes me…who will be there to pick up our children on time from school? I stood up and thanked the doctor and walked out.

As soon as I closed the door, my tears just fell!
I felt stuck. I thought things through and there just wasn’t a ‘convenient’  time to go to A&E.

I missed Zimbabwe… This very moment was when I missed the closeness of the community … It’s not that we don’t have people around us right now… It’s just that everyone is not so close by… I quickly typed a message to my husband briefly explaining the situation.

Immediately he said he would come and take me. But I had to say, no, wait, because I needed him to be available to pick up the children. He asked me what I was feeling… I said to him , my faith says, I have an infection and just need an antibiotic.. my mind is saying and what if this is an embolism and you don’t get it checked and treated and you die before your time! You cut your life short because of something that could have been treated. I knew I probably needed to go because this will just pay on my mind. But I was upset! Why Lord…. I got to work to update them and they were supportive.

I came home, packed my bags and chargers knowing very well this was going to be a long wait at the emergency department. I couldn’t talk, and simply messaged two places… Please pray for me I’m not well.

I listened to the doctor and didn’t drive. I caught a cab. Got to the emergency department and joined the queue to get to reception. I stated my symptoms once again and they gave me a tag to put on my wrist and to sit and wait for my name to be called.

I sat and watched many come and go, many injured and sick, adults, teens, children. I tried  to watch something on my phone. I couldn’t concentrate. I looked at the time an hour passed. A few minutes past the first hour of being there,  I eventually heard my name being called…
I stand up and go in for my obs… Blood tests, ECG BP done. And that’s when she said to me, the doctors are on strike today, so you will have to wait much longer…. Please be patient.

I walked out and sat down again…my hubby said he will come join me. But I begged him not to come, this was no place for my family to be. Seeing the busy department  different staff members walking out their rooms to call patients names loud, people coughing, others limping, some bleeding and clearly injured… Usually I’m calm in such chaos but this time round, I felt panic rise within me. I know there is one thing I must NOT do… Don’t look up anything on embolisms… Dr Google will send me off the cliff. I just have to go by my basic knowledge and even that was already messing with my mind.

My sister sent me a message, stand strong do not be moved. And another sister told me, doctors may be on strike but God is not on strike! He got you sis!

In that moment I was done being afraid. No, I’m not giving in to worry. I am standing strong. I’m not going to break! I began to sing a song of worship to God in my heart. I read my bible. I couldn’t pray for myself, so I began to pray. My heart for the ones around me. I prayed for the pregnant woman next to me, the elderly man across from me, the family beside me. In this moment my heart began to settle.

Another hour and a bit had passed. Adele Davidson… I got called again.  No, it’s not the doctor, this is an x-ray. X-ray done and back to the waiting room. My husband called me so the children could say hi. While talking to the children I could hear him worshipping and praying..  I thought I heard my name  and quickly said goodbye to the children. But no… I was wrong… I waited and waited and waited…

Finally my name did get called. This time it was the doctor. She examined me, showed me my results for my blood work and x-ray…. I’m all clear. ‘ You’re more congested than anything. Sounds like you have an infection and I can give you an antibiotic’. I’ll give you amoxicillin!

Lord!!!! Thank You Jesus!!!!

I understand my GP had to cover himself and do his job… But the level of stress and panic I had to endure was something else.