Authentically Adele

Recalling 1 August 2023

It was this very day last year that my dads last breath on earth would be his first breath in heaven.
He slipped away peacefully, while on a call with his children.
I still remember mum’s words echoing loud and clear, “Guys dad is going,” and I’m questioning, “going where?”

Mum turns the phone around and is laying right by dad’s side.
His laying still, barely breathing, I can’t breathe I rush outside.
But my husband calls me in, and tells me, I need to say goodbye!
I knew I would regret it if I didn’t, so I ran back in to say goodbye.

I remember saying these words as my tears began to fall,
“I love you daddy, I love you with all my heart,” I cried as I got back on the call
“It’s ok daddy, you can go now, we will be alright.”
And just like that, our dad was gone at 654pm that night.

With a small gentle and silent breath, our daddy breathed his last.
The call turned from a bible study into saying goodbye very fast.
I asked, “Mummy, is that it? Is daddy really gone?”
“He just seems to be sleeping, like he has been doing all along.”

“Yes my children, that’s it, your daddy is no longer here.”
“Are you sure?” I asked again, holding back my tears.
Mummy simply nods and begins to cry. My head begins to spin,
But this is the way dad wanted it, to be surrounded by his children.

An explosion of emotions, yet I could feel none!
From that moment onwards, I only felt was numb.
We stayed  on call to be with my mum, until my sister got to her,
How I wished to jump through the phone and simply be with her!

I couldn’t sleep, could not take calls, couldn’t even reply to texts.
I couldn’t even think of what was to happen next!
I knew this time would come, but I simply wasn’t ready.
I was scared, I was upset, “God why did you take my daddy?”

My children were worried, so I had to calm myself down.
My husband was right by my side, as I asked him, “ what do we do now?”
For me life froze, yet the world kept moving.
Death sting is bitter on the ones left living

I had no idea what life would be like without my daddy any more,
But I wanted to make him proud, that’s one thing for sure.
I knew I would have hard days, and there came some serious testing,
My birthday came and went without my father’s  blessing.

But I chose to remain strong and not let any occasion become sad,
I did not want to look back in sadness on the year I lost my dad.
Don’t get me wrong, I struggled more than I showed,
The journey grief takes you on is one unexpected road.

The hardest thing for me was actually going to church each Sunday.
Because it reminded me so much of how my dad would preach each Sunday.
And one day in church, I broke down after being so strong,
When the worship team began to sing this is my story, this is my song …

For those of you who knew my dad, he really loved this song
He would sing at the top of his voice, even if his tune was wrong.
My daddy fought well, he ran his race
And now he has met his savior face to face

I wish I had more time with you dad.
But for what I once had, I’m truly glad
Only one year has passed.
But it feels as if you just left us


Happy heavenly birthday