Authentically Adele

11 September 2023

I woke up from sleep with a mix of emotions going on. Checked the Time and realized it was only 430 a.m. I still have 3 hours of sleep. I turned over and fell asleep. In my sleep, I heard the words, ‘Time heals’. I was fast asleep but still remember my train of thought.

Those words rang loud and clear in my ears, repeating themselves relentlessly. We’ve all heard them countless times – “Time heals, Time heals everything, just give it Time.” The focus always seems to be on the ticking clock. However, I came to a profound realization: it’s not the mere passage of Time that leads to healing; it’s what you do in that Time that genuinely matters.

Let’s break it down further: Imagine I’ve been hurt; let’s say I have a painful cut that’s bleeding. I reach for a bandage to stop the bleeding. I can comfort myself by saying, “don’t worry, I’ll be better in no time.” While it’s true that I will eventually heal, Time alone isn’t the magical cure.

The truth is, I can’t simply slap a bandage on my wound and hope that Time will work its magic. In reality, more than just Time is often required. While a dressing can slow or stop the bleeding, it’s not a complete solution. Leaving it unattended for too long could worsen things. Neglecting the wound might lead to infection, additional complications, or even prevent it from healing.

Moreover, when I remove that bandage, the wound might reopen and start bleeding. So, during this Time, I can take several proactive steps to ensure proper healing. I should assess the wound’s depth – is it deep enough to require stitches, or will a simple plaster suffice? This self-awareness and action can make all the difference in my healing journey.

When we’ve experienced something that leaves us feeling hurt and in pain, it’s essential to take a clear and deliberate approach to deal with our emotions. Here’s a thought-provoking process:

First, we must identify our feelings – understand and recognize our emotions. Next, we need to acknowledge and accept these emotions. This step is crucial because denying or burying our feelings can lead to further complications.

However, it’s not enough to stop at identifying and acknowledging our pain. Many times, we tend to hide what we’re going through, keeping our emotions bottled up inside. Other times, we might openly express our hurt but struggle to find effective ways to heal and move forward over Time.

It’s important to realize that the mere passage of Time won’t automatically take away our hurt or pain. Relying solely on Time to heal is deceptive. It’s not a guaranteed way to navigate through challenging experiences or move on from the loss of someone or something. True healing often requires more active and purposeful steps on our part.

Facing and addressing the hurt and pain can be incredibly tough initially, much like a vivid childhood memory. I recall my mother applying salt water, hydrogen peroxide, or gentian violet to an open wound when I was younger. It stung and hurt even more than the initial injury itself. It was so painful that my siblings and I often chose to stay silent and not tell our mother about the injury. While her remedy might have seemed like a good idea, it would bring even more pain, and it was not worth it to us. However, we would suffer worse and have to end up telling her.

After my father’s passing, I understood that I would encounter many emotions, hurts, and pains along this journey of grief. I realized that these feelings wouldn’t naturally improve with time unless I actively worked on healing myself from within.

It’s crucial to recognize that everyone’s sources of hurt and pain are unique. Still, the intensity of emotions remains equally powerful for each of us. Today, I want to encourage someone going through a tough time. Don’t underestimate your pain; don’t brush it aside as insignificant. What might seem trivial to others can be everything and more to you. The key is acknowledging your feelings and seeking ways to process and navigate them.

Dealing with and healing from things in life will always differ (a topic for another day). It’s important to understand that the approach to handling anger differs from dealing with betrayal, and both differ from how you would cope with loss. While some parts of this journey can be undertaken alone, there will undoubtedly be times when we will require the support of loved ones and sometimes a total stranger or long-lost friend to guide us through.

I often find myself pondering a series of questions to help me through such trying times. Will what I’m about to do help me on the path to healing, or will it add to my pain and lengthen it? Will it lead me to stable ground, or will it push me deeper into the abyss of depression and self-pity, where I might drown?

As the clock keeps ticking away, it’s crucial to remember that it’s not just Time passing by that matters. God has granted us this Time as an opportunity to heal, and He has the means to provide what we need for that healing. The decision ultimately rests with us. Will we simply let Time slip through our fingers, bottling up our hurt and pain to get by? Or will we actively make choices and decisions that inch us closer to healing with each passing moment?

So, as time moves foward, let’s seek ways to facilitate our own healing. It’s not Time alone that will mend us; it’s what we do during the passage of Time that truly counts.